Alexa and Our Last Name
Jaimie on Nov 16th 2007
Our last name is quite complex. Well, at least to everyone else in the world. To me it seems simple. When my spouse and I got married, we both hyphenated our names. Say my last name was originally Smith, and his was originally Jones - we both hyphenated them in the same manner to be Smith-Jones (actual name has been changed but the process is explained correctly). So I am Jaimie Smith-Jones and he is Matt Smith-Jones.
Well, we passed this hyphenated last name on to our children. Or at least, we meant to. It worked just fine with CJ. I filled out the birth certificate information, signed it, and his last name is Smith-Jones. With Alexa things didn’t go so smoothly. I gave birth to her at a different hospital, and when the nurse brought the completed paperwork for me to sign, the hyphen was missing. The nurse claimed that she couldn’t put a hyphen in on her system and we’d have to get it changed at the records office. Well, okay. So Alexa’s birth certificate said Smith Jones for ALL our last names (not just hers).
When I got the paperwork in the mail a few weeks later and went to the records office, I was told that I couldn’t change her last name without a court order, even though it was clearly incorrect because it was not the same last name that either of her parents have (proven with our social security cards). I needed to apply to the court to have her name changed. I tried my best to explain it was a typographical error, but they wouldn’t budge. I cried. I admit it, I was so upset that I cried in the office, in the elevator, and all the way home.
I did go to the library and get the do-it-yourself version of the paperwork. But I still haven’t filled it out and filed it. Don’t get me wrong - I want to. I want her last name to be exactly the same as ours and her sibling’s. It still upsets me to this day that the hyphen is missing. But I still haven’t. I think it is a fear of the unknown. I don’t want to mess up the paperwork and create a bigger mess than I already have by letting the nurse omit the hyphen in the first place. I really should just suck it up and hire a lawyer to do it for me so it gets done. But I still haven’t.
And until then, Alexa’s last name is just slightly different than the rest of ours. Legally, at least. You won’t see me write it without the hyphen anywhere.
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Oh no! That stinky nurse. I hope you’re able to get it changed easily and without additional headache.
I had to go through the paperwork change for my last name after I got married because my husband was changing his last name too. Basically we went from W to vW to go back to the original name his ancestors had.
It was a lot of paperwork, and cost a good amount of money, but it was worth it. Email me if you have any particular questions!
@JvW thanks for the offer! unfortunately the process to change a minor’s name and an adult’s name are similar but not the same. it is a different set of paperwork and rules. I just need to buckle down and do it. Ugh.