Hug Twice

I’ll start this out with the fact that I don’t know what the average three year old’s communication level is like. As I’ve mentioned before, CJ’s communication is anything but average, and although it is greatly improving with school and work at home, it is still not up to the average three and a half year old. Not that I know what the average three and a half year old sounds like, but CJ’s last evaluation has his speech at significantly below the norm.

When CJ was telling us his head hurt Saturday, I was really panicking about if it was serious or not and wondering when it gets easier to understand when your child is really sick by that child’s own description. I was not home when CJ woke up and went into the master bedroom to wake Matt up (I was at swim lessons with Alexa) but by Matt’s account, the conversation went something like this:

CJ: (tugging at ear) Daddy, hurt.

Matt: Your ear hurts?

CJ: (moves hand to top of head) No head hurt.

Matt: Your head hurts?

CJ: Yes.

Matt: Did you bump it?

CJ: Yes bump it.

Matt: What did you bump it on?

CJ: On head, head hurt.

Matt: No, what did you bump your head on… can you show me?

CJ: Right here right here! (points at head) Bump here!

And so forth. We brought him to his room to see if he’d point something out there but he insists his head bumped his head. The headband did keep him satisfied though. Although Sunday morning (eaaaarly Sunday morning) when he started vomiting the answer appeared to be he was sick, not that he bumped his head. The vomiting, to me, was almost a relief, because now I had an answer.  he was sick.  i didn;t want him to be sick, but what if he had fallen out of bed and had a concussion or something and I had no idea and was just going on like normal?  So a little part of me was relieved to at least have an answer to the head pain.

Saturday morning, we debated taking him to urgent care once I came home from swim class, but then called the pediatrician on call at our practice, which happened to be CJ’s pediatrician herself, and she gave us things to watch for and said it wasn’t necessary at this point to take him in. I know that when in doubt, consult the professional, and I am glad we did, but I have to wonder… when will I actually be able to have a meaningful conversation about what is bothering my son when he’s hurt or upset or sick? Will I ever understand what he’s going through? Does it get any better with time? I know that CJ has improved a lot - three months ago I don’t think he would have even told us his head hurt he would have just held onto it and cried a lot, but there seems to be some sort of wall there in understanding that we can’t break through.

I know in my head that someday it will improve and we will understand. In my heart though, I’m scared it won’t.

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CJ woke up on Saturday morning saying his head hurt. The very top of his head, in fact. He wasn’t very clear on if he’d bumped it or if he had a headache (more on that tomorrow) but he was very insistent that it hurt. A lot. We called the pediatrician on call, and basically she said as long as there was no high fever, lethargy, or constant vomiting, to just keep an eye on him and bring him in Monday if he was still in pain. And give him some tylenol. So tylenol him up we did and he seemed okay, but cranky. And he held onto his head at all costs.

The entire day, except when I took him out boot shopping, he held his hand on his head as if his little life depended on it. (The shopping distracted him from remembering it was vitally important to hold onto his head.) And hold onto it he did. By early evening, he had worked up to having *both* hands on his head at all times. And then, I had an idea. We’d elicited from him that what he liked about the hand on his head was feeling something pressing where it hurt. (Not in so many words, or any words really, but by experimenting with him a little bit.) So I got one of his sister’s headbands, and put it on his head over where he said it hurt. His head is much bigger than hers, so the headband fits rather snugly.

And CJ made a miraculous recovery, as far as holding onto his head. All night he wore a headband and acted completely normally, with no hands on his head. Well, until the vomiting started. It seems he was sick after all.  But that was technically Sunday. And still no hands on his head.

If only every problem was that easy. Although Matt wasn’t as thrilled with my solution as I was. But he admitted CJ magically became a lot easier to be around. ;)  Again, at least until the vomiting started.

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A blog carnival is a collection of posts about a particular subject, gathered together and published in link form on a single blog. The participants submit their articles for consideration and the host blog picks what fits and publishes them together. It is a great way to find other blogs writing about similar topics to what you are, and a fun way to build community. This past week, three carnivals went live that had posts from this blog included, and I am really excited!

First, the Mothers and Daughters Carnival was at Real Life and my post Baby Curls was included. When I popped over to read the carnival, a post from the host blog really caught my attention - What Did I Get Done Today - and the author is so right. We need to remember all the things we did do like hugged our kids instead of going crazy over what didn’t get accomplished. I especially liked this carnival post:

• Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe: Giant Pink Marshmellow. So cute! I can’t wait to take Alexa and CJ sledding this year, although Alexa will be a blue marshmellow.

The Carnival of Family Life was at the so called me and my post Snow Day, Interrupted was included. I’ve come to enjoy the two hour delays, though. I also related to these carnival posts:

• Me, Only Better: Just Mom Again. I can completely relate to feeling like therapist and counselor and forgetting that sometimes, I am just CJ’s mom.
• The Frugal Duchess: Lessons From My Daughter’s Curly Hair. What hair maintenance can teach us about money management! Really clever
• An Ordinary Mom: Keeping the Spirit of Christmas: Stocking “Stuffers”. This is a cute idea. I love it! I need to remember it for when my kids are a bit older.

And last but certainly not least, the Carnival of SAHMs is at Wired For Noise and my post One Year Old Pictures, Just a Month Late was included! I need to go pick up those pictures today actually… while I’m doing that, check out this post:

• Seabird Chronicles: The $1500 Faucet. Isn’t that how life always is? One thing leads to another and another and…

Thank you to all the carnival hosts for including me and click on over to find some favorites for yourself!

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Lynnae at From Under The Clutter awarded me The Colors of Friendship award last week. I’m not exactly sure what it is other than she considers me a great friend. And I am truly touched and greatly appreciate it! We first met through our respective personal finance blogs and I greatly value her neverending support and friendship as I have branched out into the world of mom-blogging, something she has been doing for quite some time.

• First off, a frugal blogger, Remodeling This Life. She is actually a pre-blogging friend of mine and when I first started my personal finance blog, she supported me and was encouraging of what I was doing without fail, even when I doubted myself. Thanks so much!

• I am also going to pass it on to Fiveberries in Texas, someone I “met” through my finance blog, and whose blog is one of the funniest stops in my daily reads. Her aplomb and dedication to her kids is inspiring. Thanks!

I am truly touched to receive this award and I wear it proudly. Thanks again Lynnae!

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I hate morning.

I am not by any means of the imagination a morning person, and CJ takes after me in this respect. When I get him up for school, no matter how early he went to bed the night before, he is groggy and unhappy. He is excited about going to school, but he also just wants to go back to sleep. I cajole, I prod, I get him moving, and he proceeds to try and nap at the breakfast table, on the couch, and anywhere else he can find (today was the reading nook in the playroom) until the bus comes and I get him out the door.

This past week, we had two two-hour school delays due to icy weather, two days in a row. Since instead of 8:20, the bus arrives at ~10:20 when there is a two hour delay, I let CJ sleep in until he woke up (around 9:15-9:30 both days.) CJ got up in a great mood, ate his breakfast, snuggled a bit on the couch with me, and went off to school happy and content.

The first day there was a two hour delay, I was pretty cranky at how our routine was all out of whack and a little bit frustrated with the whole thing, but by the second day, I was actually looking forward to it. We all got to sleep a little later and we all seemed a little better off for it. Why is the world created for morning people? Some of us just don’t function that well too early.

I liked the two hour delay. I’m looking forward to another. Not so much looking forward to the ice that causes them though.

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