Hug Twice

For the first time since CJ started to go to school on the bus, I had a minor panic attack about his whereabouts.  His afternoon bus arrives between 11:20 and 11:30am every day (even though it is scheduled to get here at 11:37 am) and last Friday, it didn’t get here until 11:55am.

Yes, that’s late, but it isn’t incredibly late.  Unless you’re the mother sitting by the window at 11:20am, and as the minutes tick by, the bus doesn’t come.  And you wait, and wait.  And you tell yourself “I bet that they have a substitute driver, and it will be here at 11:40″ and then 11:40 passes.  And you wait, and start to wonder if somehow you missed the bus going by, and if you did, where would your kid be?

It started this little panic-feeling inside my chest.  I haven’t thought a whole lot lately about the bus and about how I am trusting my child to the care of others, but I am of course, and I started to wonder if I was crazy for letting my three year old ride a bus.  And just as I picked up the phone to call the school and try to figure out what was going on, the bus showed up.  Whew.

It is an interesting phenomenon inside my head.  If I think too hard about it, I feel things completely spinning out of control.  Ah, growing up.  It seems harder to watch my child grow up than it was to do so myself. 

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