Hug Twice

We have two tomato plants in our front yard. Every day, while waiting for the bus, CJ and I study the tomatoes and decide which ones are ripe enough to pick. We talk about yellow, and green, and most importantly red, and decide which ones are red enough to eat.

Not that CJ eats them. Ever.

Alexa invariably ignores our discussion and tries to pick green ones. She hasn’t been successful yet, but I am sure it is only a matter of time. Even on days where there are many many red ones just waiting to be picked, her little hands search out the green ones and grab hold.

However, she’s the one who will eat the red ones once they’re inside and washed.

odd.

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I can’t believe what a difference a few months make. Last year, when CJ would come home from school, I would ask him how his day was, or ask him things from the worksheets he brought home, and he would just stare blankly at me and not engage in conversation at all. By the end of the year, he would answer a few direct questions, but still not tell me anything on his own, and not answer most questions about what went on.

This year, already, he’s communicating about what is going on so much more, without prompting from me. Yesterday, when he got off the bus, he said to me “Mommy, I didn’t behave.”

So I asked him - on the bus? You didn’t behave on the bus? And he said no, he behaved on the bus.

“At school. I played Goofy. I wanted to play. I didn’t behave. I didn’t go outside for playtime I had to stay inside. I wanted to go outside. T went outside. But I didn’t behave.”

What a difference. Although I’m not sure what he was doing, I understand the basics of what went on. I finally have some insight to what he’s thinking and feeling. That’s such a great feeling.

As for the not behaving, well, if he acted anything like he did at taekwondo later that afternoon, well… I ‘m sorry. From the bottom of my heart.

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CJ started his half-day preschool on Wednesday last week for the school year. He is thrilled to be back in school and looks forward to the bus each day. Because he goes in the afternoon this year instead of the morning, he gets to sleep a little later, and gets really excited about waiting outside for the bus.

Before school began, I had a short conference with his teacher and his speech therapist. We celebrated his potty training progress (no accidents at school yet!) and talked about the concept of Why. CJ doesn’t yet understand “Why”. If I ask him “why”, he can’t formulate an answer for me.

The speech therapist pointed out to me that CJ doesn’t ask *me* Why, which is a very common three-year-old question. Most parents reading this who have preschoolers are probably peppered with “Why?” to anything and everything. Not me.

It reminds me that even though we’ve made so much progress, we still have a long way to go.

Speaking of which, the bus driver that brings CJ home in the afternoon, I don’t like her. Why? Because.

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On Sunday, CJ, of his own volition, went into the bathroom and used the toilet for both peeing and a bowel movement. At the same time in the same trip, but still. It is like a miracle.

He also pooped in his underwear and on the kitchen floor… but, well, it still is something.

The biggest hurdle we face in potty training is the communication factor. CJ just won’t tell us he has to go. If we remind him constantly, he will go and use the potty (for pee) but he doesn’t take initiative to use it himself. Stop reminding him, and he just pees in his pants.

So him going himself of his own initiative was just amazing.

And an act not repeated. But, still, it gives me hope for the future. But several soiled pairs of underwear later, I’m back to reminding him. Baby steps…

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Apparently the thing I said my whole life of how I wouldn’t let my younger child do things faster was a lie I told myself. I was always irritated as a child (I was the oldest) when I would have to wait until a certain age to do something, and then my younger brothers would get to do it earlier than I did.

And now, someday, CJ will hate me the same way.

I made CJ wait until he was 3 to have lollipops. Call me crazy, but they just freaked me out. I intended on making Alexa wait until 3 as well. And then today at the barber, CJ got a lollipop for doing a good job, and after much deliberation (and, I will admit, a fair bit of whining on the part of the youngest) I gave Alexa, not yet quite 2, a lollipop too. And freaked out a bit, but she did just fine.

So fine, in fact, that when it was almost gone I was calm enough to go into the kitchen to start cleaning up (she was with CJ in our attached family room sitting on the floor). And then I hear CJ screech. I turn around, and Alexa had finished her lollipop, put the stick on the floor, and stolen CJ’s right out of his mouth. And popped it right into hers.

He was not amused. And then I made her give it back, and she was very not amused.

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