Archive for the 'family' Category

Personality vs Upbringing - So Far, Personality Wins

Jaimie on Nov 21st 2007

It is continually amazing to me how two kids who both have the same parents can be so different from one another. But in so many ways, CJ and Alexa are like night and day. Well, in every way except that they both preferred night over day…

CJ has always been my adventurer. He has never met a challenge he hasn’t wanted to tackle. He may be shy around new people, but new “things” he has no problem with. He was the one at gymnastics class climbing over the obstacle course and jumping in the foam pit before the teacher had even finished explaining what they were supposed to do. He’s the child who tried to, at 11 months, climb the curved ladder up the playground equipment and when he was too short to reach the next bar, wiggled himself up one of the edge supports (with anxious mommy standing right next to him with a hand he didn’t need under him at all times). He literally walked as soon as he could take a step, ran as soon as he could walk, and is a “do now, think later” type of child. He’ll build a tower of blocks as high as it will go until it falls down with no thought about how to make it stable enough to last, because he’ll just start building it again as soon as it falls.

Alexa on the other hand, she is much more reserved. Not that she lacks curiosity or drive, but she goes about it in a whole different manner. She thinks, and even in her 12 month old face, you can see her thinking and considering options before she crafts a plan of attack. When she builds a tower, she looks at the two pieces and figures out how to fit them together. Each piece builds upon the last. She still is not walking, because she doesn’t feel confident in letting go of the edge. You can see her consider it, and then she’ll drop back to crawling or go another direction instead of walking away from what she’s holding on to. I’m convinced that this point she won’t actually walk on her own until she does it accidentally. She’s always been a thinker - she spent much of her first year watching the world from the safety of mommy or daddy’s arms and content to see what what going on without getting involved in it.

That’s not the only way they differ. CJ was the child who needed no sleep. Or at least, it seemed that way to us. He woke up every few hours like clockwork, every night, for literally two years straight. Once in a while he would sleep through for a few nights, just enough for me to think that he was finally sleeping through the night, then he wouldn’t again. Two years is a long time. Amazingly enough, he is now at three a great sleeper who puts himself to sleep and stays asleep all night on his own. But I digress.

Alexa may love the nightlife as much as her brother did (they were both night owls and she still is) but when she goes to sleep, it is for the long haul. She strung longer stretches of sleep together at 1 month old than her brother did at 1 year old. And she’s always been that way. We didn’t do anything different with her than we did with CJ, and she naturally slept completely differently. She’s not always the perfect sleeper and she does naturally want to be awake much later than either her daddy or I prefer, but she generally does a lot better overnight than her brother did anywhere near her age.

Two kids with the same parents… two totally different personalities and really, habits in general. I wonder a lot about nature vs nurture and what effect our parenting really has on them. I guess we’ll see how similar yet different they become as they grow older.

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Filed in family | 6 responses so far

Alexa and Our Last Name

Jaimie on Nov 16th 2007

Our last name is quite complex. Well, at least to everyone else in the world. To me it seems simple. When my spouse and I got married, we both hyphenated our names. Say my last name was originally Smith, and his was originally Jones - we both hyphenated them in the same manner to be Smith-Jones (actual name has been changed but the process is explained correctly). So I am Jaimie Smith-Jones and he is Matt Smith-Jones.

Well, we passed this hyphenated last name on to our children. Or at least, we meant to. It worked just fine with CJ. I filled out the birth certificate information, signed it, and his last name is Smith-Jones. With Alexa things didn’t go so smoothly. I gave birth to her at a different hospital, and when the nurse brought the completed paperwork for me to sign, the hyphen was missing. The nurse claimed that she couldn’t put a hyphen in on her system and we’d have to get it changed at the records office. Well, okay. So Alexa’s birth certificate said Smith Jones for ALL our last names (not just hers).

When I got the paperwork in the mail a few weeks later and went to the records office, I was told that I couldn’t change her last name without a court order, even though it was clearly incorrect because it was not the same last name that either of her parents have (proven with our social security cards). I needed to apply to the court to have her name changed. I tried my best to explain it was a typographical error, but they wouldn’t budge. I cried. I admit it, I was so upset that I cried in the office, in the elevator, and all the way home.

I did go to the library and get the do-it-yourself version of the paperwork. But I still haven’t filled it out and filed it. Don’t get me wrong - I want to. I want her last name to be exactly the same as ours and her sibling’s. It still upsets me to this day that the hyphen is missing. But I still haven’t. I think it is a fear of the unknown. I don’t want to mess up the paperwork and create a bigger mess than I already have by letting the nurse omit the hyphen in the first place. I really should just suck it up and hire a lawyer to do it for me so it gets done. But I still haven’t.

And until then, Alexa’s last name is just slightly different than the rest of ours. Legally, at least. You won’t see me write it without the hyphen anywhere.

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Filed in family | 3 responses so far