Hug Twice

One of the things we have been working with Alexa on is pointing at things in books that we ask her.  Like, “Where’s the sheep?” and she points at the sheep.  Except, she doesn’t.  Well, she didn’t.  For months and months we have been working on this with her and she just didn’t get it at all.

Until the obsession with Elmo began in earnest.  She’s always loved that furry little red guy, but recently she has become downright obsessed with him.  And then she started pointing at him.  First the stuffed animals, then a little play-plate set we have with Sesame Street characters on them, and then in books.  And then she’d make *us* point at Elmo and happily scream “ELMO!  ELMO!”.

And that quickly led to her pointing at other things we asked her to.  From sheep to cows to bears to mice to balls and more, she points, she identifies, and she “helps” you point.  The sweetest thing ever was watching her with her brother this morning looking at a book, and he would ask “Where’s the ball?” and she would point and yell “BAAA!”

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This was my son’s newest refrain for the past week or so.  Every time we reminded him to clean up after himself, be it toys, books, dirty clothes, or whatever, he would say in the whiniest voice possible “But cleaning up is so booooooring.”  Not that that got him out of cleaning anything up, but he was a total pill to deal with.

Then yesterday it magically stopped.  He cleaned things up, didn’t whine, and was generally a much more pleasant little guy to be around.  After a while I dared to ask why, and he says “Miss Sally (his teacher at school) told me to stop saying that.”

Not that I didn’t tell him to stop saying it 500 other times or anything…

The magic of teachers. 

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Alexa has finally started labelling things she wants instead of simply screaming and pointing.  Which is a vast improvement in and of itself.

The tricky part is, now that she can ask for things (not everything, but many things), she thinks if she asks, it must be obeyed.  Even if she’s already had 3 bananas, she’ll ask “Nana!  Nana!” and expect one to materialize.  Oh wait… did I say ask?  Demand, more like. 

On several occasions, I have been lax enough to let us run out of something because I was not aware there would be a marathon of consumption.  Like… bananas.  or apples.  Or granola bars.  And then?

Well, there is no wrath like an Alexa scorned.  lol.

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We travel for the week of Christmas.  We spend the first half of the week with Matt’s family, and the second half with mine.  All of our extended family (both sides) lives very close together, and we are the only outliers.  So we travel.  It isn’t too big a deal for us to do so, and it is our only trip each year to see family.

This year, CJ is four, and taking an interest in all things Christmas.  In the past, he’s been relatively indifferent, so we basically saved all the celebrating for the family visits and not had one of our own.  So this year, we put a few lights up outside the house, hung small stockings on our hearth, took out the little “Charlie Brown” Christmas tree we’ve had from our first-married days, and we had our own Christmas celebration Sunday, where the kids got their presents form us.

There weren’t a lot of presents - just one toy gift to each of the kids (a ball popper for Alexa, a TAG pen for CJ), a few (needed) items of clothing, and a small matchbox car for each of them from each other, and to me it seemed like it was tiny and the kids would be disappointed.  But they loved it.  Christmas with the grandparents (both sides) is always crazy and over the top, and I was afraid comparisons would be made (and maybe in the future they will be) but this year, it was perfect.

And the kids have been fighting over the TAG pen ever since.  ;)  Cj informed me I need to go get Alexa her own so she will leave him alone. 

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In the past three to four weeks, I have noticed that CJ is telling me things he hadn’t really ever before.  they are not earthshattering secrets, but they show an awareness for him of things that he might not have completely been consciously aware of before.  In that, until a few weeks ago, I don’t recall him ever saying one of these things to me.  I should have noticed, but I didn’t - I didn’t realize that this fundamental connection between self and the world was missing.  But now it’s not.

He’s telling me “I’m hungry” when he wants to eat.  “I need to pee (or poop)” when he needs to use the bathroom.  “I’m tired” when he is sleepy.  Connections between internal feelings, speech to express those feelings, and fulfillment of said feelings.

Now of course, he’s realized that he was hungry since birth.  that’s one of the fundamental cries of a newborn - I need food.  But until recently he hasn’t, of his own accord, made that fundamental connection with words and expressed it to us.  He’ll answer yes if we ask if he’s hungry, but not initiate it.  Until now.

So maybe that was the fundamental disconnect with the potty training.  If he wasn’t recognizing the feelings he had as a need to pee, then he couldn’t translate that into using the bathroom appropriately until it was too late.

Maybe.  or maybe he’s just stubborn.  Whatever it was though, I’m glad it is a hurdle we are mostly past.

On to Alexa I guess… 

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