Hug Twice

No, not Matt.  I’m talking about CJ.

He thinks he is the boss of Alexa.  And not just in an older brother kind of way - he acts like he is her parent.  Which I do understand is perfectly normal, and how big siblings act (I know I used to do it to my little brothers) but oh my goodness it is annoying.

However, he doesn’t limit it to just Alexa.  He bosses around kids at the park, the zoo, and the playground just the same.  If they break a rule he has - he tells them off and tells them to stop.  He’s my little rule junkie.  Always enforcing them on others.

Which does not explain why he’s so lax about following them himself when he pleases… 

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Sunday night, Alexa developed a fever of 102 degrees F.  It came down with medicine, but kept returning, and, fearing an ear infection, I took her in to see the doctor yesterday.  CJ got a sticker there for it being his birthday so he didn’t even mind too much.  She doesn’t have an ear infection, in fact, she doesn’t really have anything noticably abnormal other than the fever.  And being cranky.  Which, actually, is not really that abnormal, especially since she’s been teething lately.

I find it hard to concentrate on anything or get anything done when one of my kids are sick.  i think this is a fairly normal reaction by a parent, especially when the child is small and can’t communicate their symptoms very effectively, but I also always feel like I am either under- or overreacting at the same time.  Christmas 2006, my cousin (who was barely 5 at the time) went into a coma and ultimately died from an undiagnosed case of Addison’s disease.  Ever since then, I’ve found myself getting very over-anxious any time my children are sick.  Especially when there isn’t a specific cause one can point at and hold on to and say “Hey, this is what is going on.”  A high fever isn’t even a general symptom of Addison’s disease, yet I find myself in the back of my mind nervous that this is the beginning of something huge.

Which it isn’t.  My more rational side knows that.  But I haven’t figured out quite yet how to let go of the anxiety.  I promise, I am not generally a crazed lunatic who worries over every single sniffle and agonizes over every last thing that happens. Although, maybe I am now.  I try not to show it though. 

I wish there was a definitive test for the disease but there isn’t really, just testing adrenal gland function.  Which I think I am going to have to have done on both kids in the near future for my own peace of mind.  Although that won’t be the end - I’d have to keep having it tested every so often.  I think.

Tomorrow I shall have to write about something silly or funny or generally light-hearted, all this deep thinking is messing with my head. 

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CJ’s friend down the street, M, doesn’t want to play with CJ any more it seems.  At least, not for the past few days.  I’m not sure if something happened between the two boys that CJ hasn’t told us (or doesn’t exactly understand) or if M is just being a four year old, but the past few times CJ’s come to see if he could play M’s told him he was busy and didn’t want to.

I feel kind of sad.  I’m trying not to, but I’m afraid CJ’s been too clingy and aggressive about hanging around M all the time and has irritated him.  He doesn’t seem to be the most socially adept of children, at least not yet.  I don’t want to see CJ hurt, and I’m afraid he may be.  Because he doesn’t seem to understand that M doesn’t want to play with him, and keeps asking to go see M, even when 5 minutes before M has told him he doesn’t want to play.

Ironically, I had gone down there today to invite M and his brother for cake and ice cream this weekend for CJ’s birthday.  But I think I may nix that plan.

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CJ started riding a regular two wheel bike for the first time today.  With training wheels, so it is really a four wheel bike.  We have had the bike for a while, it was my young cousin’s bike before it was CJ’s and my aunt sent it to us last summer.  I finally got CJ some knee pads and elbow pads today, so he was out riding the bike (helmet too of course but he had that already).  I also got wrist guards but then CJ pointed out to me that with them on, he couldn’t hold the bike’s handles so I had to let go of my broken wrist fear.

One of us had to walk right next to him, because even with the training wheels, he tended to try and tip to one side at first.  But after only a half hour, I hardly ever had to reach out towards him to steady him, so I think he’ll be riding around with his friend M without Mommy standing by pretty soon.

It is so bittersweet, this growing up thing.  And Alexa will be actually pedaling the tricycle in no time, she just needs to grow a tiny bit.  Sniff.

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My boss at taekwondo was here last night with her two kids.  Her computer at the studio is totally infested with viruses, spyware, ad programs… well, it has been invaded.  We are slowly trying to fix it, but we needed to order a number of things for the studio so I invited her to my house to use the internet there.

While we were ordering things, her kids played with my kids, and CJ while running around, knocked his head into the corner of the refrigerator. I didn’t even hear it happen, and he didn’t cry at all, my mom said.  His bangs are long, so no one saw his forehead where it happened until right as my boss and her kids were leaving.

There was a HUGE goose egg on his head.  It completely terrified me.

So I ran out into my driveway carrying him and chased down my boss.  Not because I was upset with her kids or anything, but because her day job?  A family doctor.  She told me signs of a concussion and reassured me he was probably fine.  Thank goodness.

But still… it looks really bad.

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